Text by Inah De Guia Tolentino
Read:
"The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You."
Isaiah 26:3
Reflect:
During a particularly difficult season in my life, I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder. I definitely had no steadfast mind. I would have an urgent sense of impending doom, and a fast heart rate and I would hyperventilate and lose sleep for days. I would literally tremble for the silliest things such as when the phone rings or when the dog keeps barking. I was held together by the thinnest of threads, and I felt like I could crumble at any moment.
I was a slave to my fears and a prisoner of my own mind. My fears did not even make sense, yet I felt powerless against them.
Perhaps, just as real as my lack of faith was, I was mentally sick, too. I sought both medical assistance and spiritual support, and both helped me find healing. With my support group which included my family, I found the will to seek God again. I fought my lethargy to read the Bible and soak in His presence. Doing these despite my emotions helped me find my footing once again.
It was a deliberate effort to turn my eyes from the waves and fix my gaze on God. “Lord, save me”. This was all Peter could say in Matthew 14:30 as he started to sink after walking on water. That was also my prayer in repeat. It was a conscious decision to unclasp my hands and breathe. I learned to accept that sometimes I am weak and needed to lean on somebody. I forgave myself for all my mistakes. I gave myself permission to let go of the reins, and allow God to reign.
King Jehoshaphat recalled the Lord’s saving grace in the past when he was feeling anxious about his enemies. Like him, I recalled the many times God had saved me before. I called to mind the numerous miracles I have witnessed all these years. Recollection changed my perspective.
It did not happen overnight, but the more that I spilt from my pockets the things I was holding dear, the more peaceful I felt. The less I struggled the loser my chains. In the end, all things worked out well. The results were even better than my best hopes. My debilitating fears were unfounded – and, sigh, completely unnecessary.
What I learned though, is there is freedom in knowing that God is sovereign. What can He not do? It’s liberating to know that there’s nothing that can outweigh His goodness towards us. We can find rest when we learn to trust in Him, and not rely on our own perceived sense of competency. He is not only strong. He is our strength.
Respond:
Are you anxious about anything right now? Are you afraid of what the future holds for you, for your children, or even for our country?
In prayer, cast your burdens onto the Lord. Trust Him. Trade your will for His. Only then shall you find rest, peace, and freedom.
Inah is a mother, a wife, a world traveler, a trainer, a public speaking coach, a writer, and a legit lipstick hoarder. She's passionate about sharing the gospel to people from around the globe. She gets to do that by working in international companies that employ people from very diverse cultures. She loves that the Word of God is always alive and true. She believes that the Bible is a narrative of His promises fulfilled - the same promises that still ring true to our lives today.
AUTHOR: INAH DE GUIA TOLENTINO